Confession
by NellietheMarvelous
Summary: SPOILERS 2x16 Code Red. Jane and Lisbon riding in the elevator, certain things cannot just be left unasked, unsaid. It can't happen. Lisbon's mind won't let it.


**Disclaimer: Not owning.**

**SPOILERS: 2x16 Code Red**

**A/N: I'm a sucker for Episode Tags really and I just had to do this one after tonights episode. Hope you enjoy. I'm actually almost positive that this is a one shot. Yup. I have way too many multiparters. Bleh.**

The doors had closed, the elevator containing just Jane and Lisbon. She was still smiling because what she'd just said was actually true. Punching Jane had made her feel better. She'd felt betrayed by his actions, hurt that he made her believe she was actually dying, made her think of the past, of the ones she'd be leaving behind. It made her confront things that she hadn't wanted to but after a lot of thought, she realized what he'd been trying to do. He wanted her to be happy, happy that she was alive. Happy that her life continued to go on, that she was still breathing, walking the Earth and simply trying to make her less sad inside.

Did she agree with the approach? Hell no. He shouldn't have done what he did, shouldn't have let her continue her phone conversation with Cho, shouldn't have let her bring up her brothers but he did. He was Jane and he could definitely be a bastard at times. But so could she, her heart lurched at the thought. She'd asked him to swear on his child's grave, what kind of woman did that make her? She was just as heartless as he was. Just as cruel.

In those few moments before she'd caught on to what he'd done, she had actually thought they were having a real moment. Something true, not forced and it'd seemed so open. There'd been a light jump in her chest, among all the anxiety and fear from thinking she was going to die. When he'd said that 'if he were dying, he'd call her' she thought that maybe she hadn't failed. Maybe she had in fact made a small minuscule impact on him somehow. Of course it had all been ruined by the realization that he'd tricked her.

The smile had fallen as she remembered the last several hours. Stealing a glance at him before watching the numbers at the top of the moving cubicle, she took in the slight redness to his nose. The slight swelling. She didn't regret it, he'd deserved it but he'd been kind of right. She did feel a little tiny bit better, knowing she'd live another day.

"Jane..." With a deep breath, she sucked down the lump forming and asked what had been plaguing her mind. "You uh, you said that if you were dying then you'd call me. Why?"

"Well, for one I'd appreciate it if the CBI found me instead of something or someone else," The cocky grin was still firmly in place and just when she thought that she wouldn't get a straight and honest answer, he shocked her. "and, to uh, to talk."

She watched his facade drop as it so rarely did and knew that as badly as she wanted to stay angry with him, she wouldn't. Not very long anyway. When his gaze dropped to the floor, she knew that he was thinking of how to explain himself, thinking of a way to put the walls back up without her noticing they'd fallen in the first place.

"About?" Her voice was smaller than she'd intended and yet loud after such a pregnant pause, breaking the silence and letting Jane know that she wasn't about to give him an easy way out. The elevator however seemed to take pity on him, the door chimed and opened to the ground floor but just as he was about to exit and keep her in the dark, she pulled a trick of her own. Pushing the 'door close' button, she grabbed his arm and held him in place until the doors were once again containing the two of them from the outside world. She randomly pushed at the button panel on the wall right beside the doors, pressing a number and waiting for the elevator to move once again. "You made me believe that I was going to die, made me feel scared and, and I trusted you. I trusted you to tell me the truth, don't you think you could at least answer me this? Just a simple question?"

Lisbon was shocked at herself for blurting all of that out in one single breath but she was tired, cranky and the man owed her a little something after the way she'd actually believed him only to be so let down, crushed.

"Lisbon..."

"Forget it." She didn't know why she tried, always hoping that she'd get through. Shaking her head in defeat, she reached forward and let her thumb touch the round circle with the number one on it.

"I'd tell you that it's been a pleasure working with you, really it has. You've taught me a lot more than I ever thought you could, I'd tell you how thankful I am that you put up with me." She didn't turn to face him but her eyes darted his direction to see that he was still staring down, looking at his hideous brown shoes. Those things really were terrible. She didn't expect him to say anything more, she thought his speech was rather sweet in a very Jane kind of way but she figured that was all she'd get from him.

"Thank you for..."

"Wait, I'm not done." He shuffled closer, making her a little uncomfortable when his vest brushed her shoulder, his body pressed into her side. She turned to face him, put some distance between them. "I'd be sure that you knew how much I really appreciate that you try and that you care. You try to keep me out of trouble, try to ignore my dark side and most of all, I'd tell you that I care too. You have a good heart, and I do care about you Lisbon."

Enthralled by the words coming from his mouth, she never broke eye contact despite the flush that she knew was staining her cheeks. She didn't try to hide, she could feel that his words were actually honest and it didn't scare as much as she thought it would.

"And uh, if I were dying then I'd probably have the guts to tell you just how much." She didn't know what to say after that, she wasn't sure how she should respond and luckily the doors took pity on her this time, opening but her feet wouldn't move. "I was trying to help by lying to you."

"I know you were."

"Night Lisbon." She knew he'd been trying in his own twisted way to help, that's why she hadn't shot him instead of punching him. It was cruel to make her think she only had hours left to live but she also had something to show for it, she'd realized that she needed to forgive her brother Tommy, and that there were some family issues that she wanted to work out before she no longer had the chance. So really he had kind of helped, in his very Jane, very jerkish and annoying way. She was still pissed.

It took her a few seconds for some of his last words to kick in but once they did, she was briskly exiting the elevator and calling after the man who had stepped out just moments before her. He cared about her and his voice had been so soft when he'd said that if he were dying he might have the guts to tell her how much. She wouldn't read into the statement but she knew that it meant something.

"Jane! Do you...are you hungry? I have some leftover spaghetti in my fridge that'll just get thrown out." The moment the words had left her tongue, she felt like an idiot. She'd just offered the man leftovers. Who does that?

"Spaghetti huh? Sure. One condition: Pretend I'm not Jane tonight, pretend I'm a concerned friend that you know won't think less of you or use it against you in any way, if you want to talk about the reason you've been so sad."

"I haven't been...okay, maybe. Yeah, okay but this doesn't mean I'm going to tell you anything and if you try to get it out of me, I'll punch you again." He might have made her think she was dying, she might have punched him but they were still themselves, still close despite that fact and it seemed as time passed by, they had only become closer over the time they'd worked together. She wouldn't read too much into that either but part of her thought that maybe someday, just maybe the little flutter in her stomach could become something more.

**a/n: I had to type this little thing. I don't know why but I couldn't get it out of my head...and then Fanfic was being a aldfhjafgasfhasdfjjshf, and wouldn't let me log in to post it. Obviously it's letting me do it now. Hope you liked. Now onto Easy Way Out.**


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